


Sonar Man

by Hadrian_Pendragons



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime), Dr. STONE (Manga)
Genre: Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Nothing explicit, Slight Negative Self-Talk, Trans Male Character, Trans Ukyou Saionji, Validation, Vent Fic kind of, usen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23136877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Pendragons/pseuds/Hadrian_Pendragons
Summary: Sometimes the presence of another is all it takes to get back on your feet.
Relationships: Ishigami Senkuu/Saionji Ukyou
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	Sonar Man

**Author's Note:**

> Ukyo is my favorite character whatsoever, and the concept of him being trans was introduced to me and I love him so much damnit.
> 
> Authors? Projecting? More likely than you think.

Ukyo wakes up, shifts the slightest bit, and freezes.

Then he pulls his arms and legs all the way under the fur blanket, grabs the edges, and pulls it tighter around himself, trying with all his might to curl back into the oblivion of sleep despite knowing he won’t be able to. He’s already awake. And awake means awake, after time in the military. 

Awake means he’s aware and aware means he’s _too_ aware. He’s too aware of his own skin and his heart beating in his chest, and for once, he wishes he could just go to the middle of a city and drown it all out with the overwhelming noise.

Except he can’t. There weren’t any cities anymore.

He should get up, anyway. He should. He’s done it a million times before. Get up, throw on every layer of clothing he can find, and go find something to distract himself with. That’s what he needed to do. That’s what worked, and what helped him get over it.

But somehow, this time. his body just would. Not. _Move._

He didn’t _want_ to move. Didn’t want to face it.

“Coward,” he mutters to himself, under his breath, screwing his eyes closed and hiding his face halfway in the blanket. “You _coward.”_

Maybe he could just let the day pass him by. Maybe he could just ignore everything, ignore his own intense discomfort, and let the hours go without acknowledging any of them. Just exist in his own mind and let everything physical melt away.

“Ukyo, you up yet?”

He blinks. There are tears in his eyes. 

_What?_

He hears the footsteps— so _close—_ and he thinks he should have noticed them sooner. Should have noticed the familiar pace approaching, should have recognized that voice immediately, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t, and that just makes him feel worse, because getting that far into his own head just made everything else dull. 

He hears the curtain to his hut draw, and the steps pause.

Senkuu is in the doorway, and Ukyo is curled in on himself, facing the wall opposite, crying. 

_Why am I crying?_

What was there to cry about? It isn’t like he didn’t live with this every day of his life. It isn’t like it mattered much. He was just being an idiot. He just had to deal, like he always did, and get up.

_Why can’t I get up?_

“... Ukyo?”

He doesn’t say anything. _Coward._

The footsteps move closer. The sound of another person breathing and another heart beating moves closer, until Senkuu sits down beside him. 

“You okay? Sick?”

“... no.” He curls tighter still.

“No, you’re not okay, or no, you’re not sick?” Senkuu snarks without any bite. Ukyo doesn’t answer. 

Senkuu falls silent. Then, a hand brushes his arm through the blanket. 

Senkuu doesn’t move it, doesn’t do much other than rub his thumb in circles, but it’s something to focus on. Something to pay attention to. A part of his skin he can hone in on and isn’t absolutely uncomfortable with right now. A reason to fight that voice in his head.

He focuses on the weight of Senkuu’s hand through the blanket and doesn’t think. 

“What do you need, Ukyo?”

_Pathetic._ That voice still tears through his mind. _Worrying the man that saved you. Weren’t you supposed to be one of their leaders?_

He was. He _was._ But… was he even good enough?

_He wasn’t even—_

He bites his lip. Hard. He doesn’t notice Senkuu pause, too busy tracking down the origin of that voice and _murdering it._

_Shut up. You’re wrong. I am who I am._ And then, softer, not yelling in his mind, _Don’t let them tell you that anymore. That’s over._

A hand brushes his hair out of his face. 

He blinks his eyes open. He doesn’t look at Senkuu, but Senkuu only hesitates briefly before continuing. He just follows the same motion, smoothing a part of his bangs to the side.

Ukyo likes the feeling of it.

“... sorry,” he says. “Just… just a bad day.”

Senkuu hums. He moves to brush his hand over Ukyo’s cheek, wiping away the tears. Ukyo flicks his eyes to him. 

He realizes he’s been slowly un-tensing the entire time Senkuu’s been here. He doesn’t move, not yet, but he relaxes under that careful touch.

His heart skips a beat when he sees Senkuu’s expression.

Lips turned down slightly, inquisitively, sharp crimson eyes watching him, locking onto his gaze the moment Ukyo looks his way. 

Ukyo listens and hears Senkuu’s heartbeat. It calms him even more.

“Do you want me to go?” Senkuu asks. 

Ukyo shakes his head instantly. _Don’t go._

Senkuu smirks, but it’s light, small, gentle. He keeps stroking Ukyo’s cheek and hair. Ukyo closes his eyes again.

He doesn’t know _why_ , but… but Senkuu being there makes him feel like he can get a hold on himself. He shoves past the raging _wrong, wrong, wrong,_ and he latches onto a soft and gentle touch, cool and calloused fingers. He grabs on and he doesn’t let go. 

_I’m okay. I’m okay._ He chants. _I’m okay._

Because he was. He _was._ No one here saw him as any different. This world wasn’t the same. He was who he was, and nothing could change that, not even his own self-esteem.

He opens his eyes again, and he thinks, for the moment, he’s managed to shake off the feeling of wrongness. Managed to shake off the fear of it.

He sits up. Slowly. Senkuu pulls his hand away, but Ukyo leans over and buries his face into Senkuu’s shoulder. Senkuu hesitates, then runs a hand through his hair. 

“Thanks,” Ukyo whispers. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Senkuu says, a laugh in his throat. “... you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ukyo says. “Yeah. I will be. Time for work?”

“If you think you’re up for it.”

Ukyo pulls away and smiles at him, “Probably for the best that I am, then.”

Senkuu’s smirk widens, “Then get a move on, sonar man.”

Senkuu stands up and heads to the door, and Ukyo only manages to contain himself until Senkuu has his back turned.

He grins, wide and giddy, and something about that sentence and validation and the fact that it came from _Senkuu_ made his heart flutter.

_Can’t keep the scientist waiting._


End file.
